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Why Osama bin Laden Could Still Destroy America February 10, 2008

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, bin Laden, Iran, Iraq, John McCain, McCain, News and politics.
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It’s rarely talked about these days during the waning moments of the Gore Presidency, but one of Osama bin Laden’s stated goals with the attacks on September 11, 2001 was to send America into an impulsive and costly reaction. Analysts both in the United States and the Middle East say that had America done “what Osama wanted it to do”, in the words of one of them, America would have become engaged in a costly, unwinnable war in a place like Iraq or Iran.

Today, an analysis released by the Brookings Institute reveals for the first time some projections into the toll such a wide-ranging engagement by the United States might have taken on the federal budget. The study considers two nightmare scenarios.

The first assumes that shortly after the attacks, an unnerved and jingoistic American president for some reason follows the advice of neo-conservatives and attacks Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein. The Brookings Institute developed computerized projections based on current military operational costs and estimates that an initial invasion would have cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $300 billion, which would immediately have thrown the nation back into deficit spending. In a most positive scenario, and assuming that the invasion went well, the final cost would probably total half a trillion bucks, just to clean up afterwards and try to provide some rudimentary nation building.

However, the analysis then goes on to say that a clean sweep would be highly unlikely because Iraq has a multitude of edgy ethnic fault lines that weren’t revealed during Saddam’s iron grip. These fault lines, according to the study, would quickly expose themselves and the country could even devolve into a civil war before the Americans left. If that happened, the result would be catastrophic, keeping America tied down “for years,” according to the report. The cost of such a war would trickle down into other parts of the economy, either impacting federal dollars that would normally flow to key programs (if somehow a deficit were to be avoided) or sucking the federal treasury dry and leading to massive deficits. The report paints a horrific world where the world has turned on America for invading a sovereign nation, and stops buying or starts dumping American treasury bonds, among other things. It paints a scary world where the dollar begins a free fall and even begins signs of a collapse. From that point, the analysis says any number of other trickle down effects could occur, from an implosion of real estate prices to a collapse of entire industries.

Basically, according to the report, the U.S. would have played right into Osama’s strategy.

But it gets worse. The second scenario describes the costs of a war with Iran (before the current détente) and goes on to describe a near apocalypse as the war, even within the scope of an American victory, drains the economy completely and leads to an unprecedented economic collapse, with an unsympathetic world cheering on.

As it is, the Gore Administration did attack Afghanistan, a risky tactic, says the analysis, considering the complex tribal nuances of that nation. Luckily, Osama was found fairly quickly and eliminated, and that ended the discussion, along with that war, and Afghanistan is today a thriving nation.

So what’s the point of such a wild, almost impossible to believe scenario and releasing it to a satisfied, happy nation enjoying sustained economic growth and prosperity? Perhaps it is the recent gains of John McCain, and his apparent primary victory. McCain has said he will roll back the diplomatic carpet with Iran and close the recently opened embassies because of Iran’s intransigence “in world affairs”.  “We should be poking them in the eye,” he has said, “not trying to see where we see eye to eye.”

In other words, if McCain wins the Presidency, Osama may roll over in his grave, just to applaud.

Obamamania January 8, 2008

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Barack Obama, Hillary, Hillary Clinton, Iraq War, News and politics, Obama.
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Barack Obama’s apparent impending sweep of the Democratic primaries speaks loudly about the American mood. Even in a time of unprecedented prosperity under Al Gore, Democratic voters are shunning his would-be successor, Vice President Hillary Clinton.

It may be that Americans simply don’t like the idea of dynasties. If Clinton would be elected, not only would it be the second Clinton in office, but it would extend the Clinton/Gore dynasty to, potentially, nearly a quarter century. Americans are understandably squeamish about such things.

Ironically, this kind of feeling could have been exacerbated by some of the fears generated by progressives who have repeatedly pointed out that a cadre of Republicans such as Paul Wolfowitz, Donald Rumsfeld, and Dick Cheney, pushed hard for an invasion of Iraq and have since written that had George W. Bush won the election, they would have launched preemptive strikes against Sadaam.

A Newsweek journalist even raised the hairs of many Americans by posting a fictional blog called The Bush Years which painted a nightmarish, almost science fiction-like alternative future that had America sending ground troops into Iraq and spending hundreds of billions of dollars funding a long-term quagmire. Most economists scoffed at the premise: that the war is largely funded via long-term debts to China. In the blog, the American dollar becomes nearly worthless, and America is reviled throughout most of the world.

These are events that, had they happened, would have been blamed at least partly on dynastic politics.

In real life, of course, Sadaam, has long since disappeared from the scene, having been stricken down by his own people. The Middle East is thriving even as the U.S. is throwing off the chains of its oil dependency. The American economy, fueled in no small part to a host of emerging technologies spurred on by the Gore Administration’s industrial policies, is humming along like a well oiled machine.

Still, voters appear to be on the brink of rejecting Hillary and embracing Obama.

There are two things that Gore has not accomplished that might help explain this phenomenon. One, he has not healed the divisiveness between Republicans and Democrats that has existed since the Clinton years. In fact, under Gore, it may be worse, as the Republican Party has become marginalized because of the domination in that party of evangelicals and the far right. Eventually, though, the GOP will return to a more moderate focus, and the pendulum in Congress will swing back. It always does.

Obama, though, isn’t waiting. He’s already reaching out to Republicans and leveraging his long-term mantra of unity by pointing out that we don’t live in red states or blue states, but in the United States. This message is resonating.

The other thing Gore hasn’t accomplished is in regards to lobbyists. They still have way too much control, and Obama has promised to do something about that. These are two powerful messages. Combine that with Americans’ inherent distaste for dynasties, and you have a rout in the making.

Hillary’s mistake may have been to simply assume she was the appointed successor to the throne. The Bush Years did a nice job of pointing out how dangerous a dynasty can be, even if it did seem a little far-fetched in its apocalyptic tone. And the American people don’t need much help anyway in rejecting the concept of the throne. They’ve been doing it for 232 years.

Cheney’s Heart Examined (again) November 27, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Gore Years, News and politics.
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Doctors made a stunning discovery while administering an electrical shock to former Vice Presidential candidate Dick Cheney’s heart during a 2 1/2 hour hospital visit Monday.

Although the procedure was described as a low-risk, standard practice, Cheney, 66, was discovered by George Washington University Hospital doctors as having a heart about 1/10th the size of normal, and full of mysterious anatomical anomalies.

Dick Cheney's heartCheney, who has a history of heart problems, was discovered to have an irregular heartbeat around 7 a.m. when he was seen by doctors at an NRA round robin animal hunt. He remained in the field throughout the day, joining MLB baseball commissioner George W. Bush in a round of squirrel shooting.

The irregular heartbeat was determined to be the result of atrial fibrillation, an abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of the heart, said spokeswoman Megan Mitchell. But it was later found Cheney had a bizarre and previously unknown physical condition that followed patterns resembling those within the human brain, according to doctors.

“Atrial fibrillation is extremely common,” said Dr. Zayd Eldadah, an electrophysiologist and director of cardiac arrhythmia research at Washington Hospital Center. “But what we found was not common, and will require further study. Apparently, Mr. Cheney takes in information via the brain somehow, and emits gunfire from what we are now referring to as Primary and Secondary Output aortal tubes. We think this may explain some of his violent tendencies.” Cheney has long been a thorn in the Gore Administration’s side, and has often called for the invasion of several countries.

Eldadah said Cheney’s underlying heart problems were probably a factor in his atrial fibrillation. Aging is a common factor, too.

“He’ll probably have other episodes,” said Eldadah, who is not involved in Cheney’s care. “Atrial fibrillation in and of itself is not threatening. The problem is the strange gunpowder coming out of what we used to call the Superior vena cava and the left pulminary arteries. In Mr. Cheney’s case, they appear to be more like mortars, such as what you might find on a battlefield. As best as we have been able to determine so far, information comes in to his heart (see graphic), and ballistics go out.”

About 2.8 million Americans have atrial fibrillation, the most common type of irregular heartbeat, and cases are increasing as the population ages. But to date, no one is known to have grown any kind of artillery-related matter within the complex heart structure.

In 2005, Cheney had six hours of surgery on his legs to repair a kind of aneurysm, a ballooning weak spot in an artery that can burst if left untreated. In March, doctors discovered that he had a deep venous thrombosis in his left lower leg. After an ultrasound in late April, doctors said the clot was slowly getting smaller.

“It could be that all of that is related to the gunpowder in his heart,” said Eldadah.

Pat Robertson Calls for Hit on JK Rowling October 23, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in 9-11, Afghanistan, Al Gore, Al Queda, Apple, arms control, Barack Obama, Congressional ethics, Dumbledor, Dumbledor gay, Harry Potter, JK Rowling, News and politics, Potter, Rowling.
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Admitting that the bond between Islamic fundamentalism and Christian fundamentalism is as deep as most of us assumed, Pat Robertson today called for a “Christian Fat wahhh” on JK Rowling for her confession that Dumbledor is gay.


“Today is a dark day for America as this evil woman has introduced a trojan horse into our nation. Here we all were, comfortable gathering our families together by the fireplace and reading this innocent narrative to our children, when, surprise, out of the gilded binding that is our lovely Harry Potter book came out a truly haunting progeny.

“It reached out its tentacles and we parents happily accepted its embrace. And now, we find our children sucked into the malevolent storm of liberalism — homosexuality, abortion, and general mayhem. For this, I declare, that JK Rowling must be exterminated. I am formally calling for something we should have called during the Clinton years, a fat wahhh on JK Rowling, and anyone who promotes her trojan horse”.

Robertson’s call to arms was immediately heeded on the internet, where the vast counterculture that has been battling the Gore adminstration since the earliest days went into action. “I totally support this effort,” wrote Wayne Huizenga in his blog, Death to Morans. “Ever since I owned Blockbuster, you see, I have understood this fight well. It’s all about empowerment. It’s why my video stores carried slasher movies dedicated to the dismemberment of females, but refused to carry Last Temptation of Christ. It’s all about perception, and other stuff.”

Tunisia, where Pat Robertson is reportedly hidingThe Gore Administration’s reaction was swift. “I am, as we speak, arranging for the arrest of Mr. Robertson,” said Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo. “The cultural wars that his ilk are so fond of perpetrating have no place in American society. You can expect the Justice Department to expend every resource to find Mr Robertson and bring him to justice.”

Word is that Robertson has escaped to Tunisia, and has found a home with fellow evangelical expatriates who have formed an enclave in the coastal town of Kelibia.

Kelibia is a beautiful coastal town that has so far resisted the trend current among other North African coastal towns, whose shorelines have been taken over by the tourist industry.

Kelibia in fact, is a ghost town on the Mediterranean, an enclave of evangelicals from a variety of religions. It’s a mysterious place where, it seems, the lunatic fringe of all religions have found a home.

There are, in Kelibia, monuments to major evangelical figures from almost every religion on the planet. Kelibia By The SeaThere is, for example, the Yigal Amir monument, a 5,000 foot tower dedicated to the man who nearly doomed the Israeli-Palestine peace process. The word is that the CIA under the Gore Administration funded the statue, just as it funded every other evangelical statue in that statue-laden town.

Why the Gore-funded CIA funded the development of a shoreline in Northern Africa for the purpose of enhancing evangelistic thought is a question for historians. Some say it’s just to get them all in one place, and nuke them, but this seems to be against President Gore’s green thing, which he’s been talking about for six years now.

All we know now is that the town’s three mile shoreline is a long series of 5,000 foot tall statues dedicated to fundamentalists, from a variety of religions. Which exactly those are, however, has remained a mystery, because there is an iron mask over the face of each statue, that, according to the Tunisian government, will be unveiled on July 14, 2008.

“We will reveal the masks all on one day,” says Tunisia’s foreign press secretary, Hlalems Bil Lham. “We’re not sure who paid for all these damned statues of all these damned freaks, but we’ll drop the masks on all 100 statues lining our coastline on July 14, because we consider that an important date, although nobody here is sure why, although we suspect the French.”

Then, with a gleam in his eye, he says, “and when we unveil the masks, we pretty much expect the end of the earth as we know it. Which is fine with me, since our family hasn’t grown a nice tomato in about 50 years.”

President Gore Wins Fourth Nobel Peace Prize October 12, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in 9-11, Al Gore, Gore Nobel, Gore Peace Prize, News and politics, Nobel Peace Prize, peace prize, President Gore.
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President Gore today continued his string of Peace Prize awards, this time for his efforts on the environment. This year’s award was shared with the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change for its work to alert the world to the threat of global warming.

Cornelius Poppe/European
Pressphoto Agency

His previous awards were for his peace efforts in the Middle East, which have transformed the region from a hotbed of conflict to a regional economic powerhouse. Obviously, this is the first time an American president has been honored with a series of peace prizes from the Nobel Committee.

Snuff Film of bin Laden Reported to be Released Soon September 7, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in 9-11, Afghanistan, Al Gore, Al Queda, bin Laden, blogosphere, blogs, Osama bin Laden, President Gore, snuff film.
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The blogosphere is agog over the rumors that a snuff film of Osama bin Laden, created by a former member of the special operations unit that hunted him down and killed him in Afghanistan in 2002, will be released tomorrow over the Internet. Details are sketchy, if only because the actual details of his death weren’t released by the government. For this reason, although snuff films have never been popular among normal people, many in the blogging community are expecting massive hits when it is released on YouTube.

No motive for the film’s release have been revealed. bin Laden’s body was turned over to his family in Saudi Arabia and he received a “proper burial”, in the words of President Gore, and some in the military think that the motive for the release of the film may be tied in some way to that, although exactly how is unclear. Others think that the creator of the film is just into snuff, and is hoping this is a way of helping it go mainstream.

Panel recommends that U.S. lower its profile in Iraq September 6, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Gore, Iran, Iraq, President Gore.
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An independent panel led by the heirs of Orville Redenbacher is recommending that businesses and organizations in Iraq that have direct ties to the U.S. lower their profile. “There is a mythology that Iran happened because a dictator ruled the country,” said the spokesperson for the panel, Christiane Amanpour, “but we would argue that what happened was that Iran experienced a shockwave, and that the Ayatollahs were merely a symptom of a larger backlash against Western materialism. Conditions are ripe for the same thing to happen in Iraq today.”

Iraq, as everyone knows, is the new glam child of the Middle East, but its Shi’ite population is becoming a bit restive.

President Gore Marks Hurricane Katrina Anniversary August 29, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Al Queda, Hurricane Katrina, Katrina, News and politics, Politics, President Gore.
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President Gore is marking Hurricane Katrina’s devastating blow by celebrating the city’s resurgence led by those he says have “dedicated their lives to the renewal of New Orleans.”

With the region quickly recovering and actually rediscovering an even larger tourist base from its former self after two years, some here think the president is using the spotlight to brag a little about the successful comeback of a city devastated by the storm.

Gore, in a press conference in the French Quarter, did little to try to deny an opportunity for photo ops. “The military services learned a lot about infrastructure recovery when we were able to help out in the Middle East,” said Gore, who has long advocated an expanded, humanitarian role for the military in an era during which, he has said, “war is becoming obsolete.”

John Edward Thomas Moynahan Wins Lottery August 29, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Bridget Moynahan, Bundchen, Gisele Bundchen, John Edwards, Moynahan, News and politics, Patriots, super bowl, Tom Brady.

John Edward Thomas Moynahan was born today via model/actress Bridget Moynahan. As Tom Brady’s son, he is the equivalent of an instant lotto winner.

gisele bundchen, anybody?

“I’m ecstatic about being part of this family,” Moynahan said in a statement read by his attorneys, Morris and Aaron Zuckerman. “Even though, technically, we are not really a family.”

Brady, a popular NFL quarterback (as opposed to, say, Michael Vick, who was, actually, once, quite popular until he was upended by the Alpo Meter) , is no longer dating John Edward Thomas’s mother, and is currently dating, instead, supermodel Gisele Bundchen.

Bundchen, in a statement issued by her publicist, said she would conceive also, but is in no rush.

“I have total faith in both Tom and John Edward Thomas that they will help fulfill the legacy of the Brady/Moynahan/Bundchen family. We have a strong tradition. Our family is strong, and so is everyone else. We believe that strongly.”

U.S. to Outsource All Government Functions to Indian Company August 21, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, blogosphere, Drudge Report, Goa, Gore, Gore Years, outsource, outsourcing.
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In a dramatic move to cut government expenditures, The Drudge Report is reporting that the The Gore Administration will soon outsource all non-military government operations to an Indian company called “OutDamnedSpot,” pending congressional approval.

Details are sketchy, so far, but insiders are leaking some concepts to bloggers. “We’ve identified a major urban area in India,” said one inside source quoted by the Drudge Report. “The plan is to clear any cities out, and move in contractors specializing in government processes and bureaucracy. It’s a win-win for the U.S. Government, because, according to the contract, if we’re not happy with their performance we can pull out of the contract, no questions asked.”

The blogosphere is ripe with rumors that the operations will be based in the Indian state of Goa, and that, if necessary, the contractor will build a new coastal city to accommodate the new contract. Some rumors are also suggesting that the contractor will require all employees to work at least 23.5 hours per day through a written agreement.

No comment yet from anyone in the Gore Administration.