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Idaho Tourist Alert: Don’t Play Footsies With The Dude in the Toilet Stall Next to You August 29, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in family values, Larry Craig, moral values, News and politics, President Gore, Republican hypocrisy, Republicans.
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Tourist alert.

The next time you are in Idaho, and you just have an unwavering yearning to slide your foot into the foot of the guy in the stall next to you, find a way to resist. You may find this difficult, because, after all, what normal guy is not compelled to tap the toe of the guy in the adjoining toilet stall?

Got Rectum?

In fact, a recent study by The Heritage Foundation found that a significant percentage of American men who consider themselves moral crusaders have at least considered playing footsies with strangers entering nearby toilet stalls. And many consider it a right of passage.

“Actually, there is a little known ceremonial ritual behind this whole thing, and it’s initiated by the touching overture of that quintessential moment when plastic meets porcelain,” says Heritage Senior Research Fellow Robert Rectum. “When that toilet seat slams down, it just creates this unbelievable rush of excitement. I think it’s fair to say that it’s a manly thing, a fun, totally hetero, gunz-a-blazing whapparama thing that needs to be experienced to be appreciated. And in fact, most manly men, we have experienced this, and we all cherish that moment when we hear that toilet seat go down. Hell, who doesn’t look at the shoes of the man next to him? Anyone who says he doesn’t is a liar. So it should come as no shock to see the next obvious step. No pun intended.”