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Baseball Commish: Baseball Has No Steroids Problem December 15, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in baseball, baseball commish, baseball commissioner, News and politics, steroids.
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Baseball Commissioner George W. Bush today defended Major League Baseball in the wake of the Mitchell report on steroids and declared to a packed press conference, “Baseball is healthier today than it has ever been. We’ve got record attendance figures. We’ve got a strong history, a solid history. It’s a great history.”

Asked by reporters if any action would be taken against any of the players named by the investigation, Bush said, “We’re staying the course on this one. We’ve got a proud history and we’ll remain so.” When pressed on the issue, Bush did admit there may be a few scattered problems with steroid use, but that, “all in all it’s a balanced game, a good game. I’ve had some of these players when I owned the Rangers and they were fine young men. José Canseco, Juan Gonzalez, and they didn’t get to where they got by doing steroids, they got there by playing baseball.”

Asked if he would want children to use Canseco as a role model, Bush replied, “Well, it depends on what he was modeling, heh heh, but sure? Why not? His role as a snitch was huge. A big thing for baseball. Sometimes you need to snitch. So, you know, if a young boy asks you, you just sit him down and say, ‘young fella, sometimes you just gotta snitch if you want to be … what’s that word the kids like? Über successful. José, now, I saw him, he played for me. And he was successful. But he became über successful when he sold those books. See, you don’t have to do just one thing in life to be successful. You can expand. So that’s a good thing to teach kids. Expand your horizons. Grasp at what’s not yours. That kind of thing is role modeling. Good role modeling. Everyone can agree with that.”

Bush was named baseball commissioner in late August, and immediately generated controversy by proposing that baseball games be reduced from 9 innings to 3 innings, “because that’s about all anybody really watches of a game.” He quickly backtracked from the proposal after admitting that he came up with the idea during his first few days in the Betty Ford Clinic.

Picture URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/bush_stupid.jpg

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