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Republicans Accuse Gore of Implant Program February 10, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Dave Winer, Neo-cons, Neo-conservatives, News and politics, OPML, RSS, Winer.
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Ever notice how you race to the computer whenever you’ve been away from the house for awhile? Especially after a long vacation without access? Hell, you’re a frothy mess. As are most Americans.

Truth is, who the hell can run to the computer anymore to check an email, other than, maybe, our moms?

As a result, most of us are racing frantically for the newest PDA/Cell phone device. Apple not only didn’t bother with a 1984 type commercial to deal with our newest frenzy, they charged a fortune for the privilege of hearing God Jobs (aka, Boom!) talk about the next generation of phone/pda/whatever (I really don’t think, at this point, another link to iPhone is needed here, do you?).

Well, Republican Lynn Westmoreland is saying he has uncovered evidence that the Gore administration will soon propose a program that will require all Americans to be equipped with a microchip in their brains that can accept email and important blogs. According to Westmoreland, the Gore Administration will create a new tax to pay for the mandatory program.

Westmoreland further claims to have uncovered evidence that Dave Winer, the inventor of RSS, has been hired by the administration to create a receptor that can be implanted in the brain. The implanted receptor, according to sources, will only accept RSS and OPML. According to Westmoreland, Winer, a well known tech guru, refused to participate unless OPML, which is a lightweight outline editing markup language, would play at least a minor role in the implantation process.

There has been no comment yet from the Winer Blog Machine, which Westmoreland claims has been in existence since 1997, and is also part of the reason Gore was elected in the first place. Westmoreland: “Winer created an environment that leads to brainwash, by his nefarious insistence on this strange, bit-based concept of community. He was wrong in 1997, and he is wrong now.

“He is also a well known non-Christian, and the Bible is clear about that.”

Westmoreland (excellent comedy link on YouTube has been banned by Viacom (which happens to be controlled by a neocon named Sumner Redstone, and so, is, unfortunately, not available).) is an up and coming Georgia Republican whose mantra is family and Christian values but who, also, could not recite the ten commandments under questioning by Steven Colbert (proof is not available for this claim, see Redstone/Viacom comments).

BTW, the only way to get to Steven Colbert. is through MySpace.

OH!!!

I get it!!! Sumner Redstone owns Steven Colbert (nobody tell Steven, lest he wet his pants). And Jon Stewart, too!.

It all makes sense if you just read the irony in stuff like this.

Understanding all of this will create an infinite loop (like how Southwest Bell begat SBC which begat AT&T which was nailed originally for antitrust actions)(but I digress) if you study it too hard. Luckily, most of you are much more interested in the relationship between Sawyer and Jack and that nasty woman with the high leg kick (hey, can’t blame you there, who doesn’t love a broad with a high leg kick?).

So for most of you, all is good.

But me, I thought the simple fact that Al Gore was president would solve the world’s ills.

Or maybe I’m just writing about some awful nightmare, about a world that could have happened, if George W. Bush had been elected.

No. I’m not that crazy.

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