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Gore Focuses on Peace, Prosperity in State of the Union Address, Rumsfeld in Tears January 24, 2007

Posted by chuckwh in Al Gore, Donald Rumsfeld, Foreign Policy, Gore, News and politics, State of the Union.

As some pundits have begun to seriously bandy about notions of a possible “Golden Age” in America and beyond, President Gore during tonight’s State of the Union urged Americans to “stay the course, because our current prosperity is not only sustainable, but can actually be improved upon — must be improved upon.”

Reports had indicated that Gore would press hard for Americans to make sure a Democrat was elected President in 2008, but he refrained from such a blunt message and merely emphasized that “now is no time for course corrections.”

Also expected was a new environmental package, but Gore said the new environmental bill would not be introduced until late February. Instead, the President pointed out that America has reduced its gasoline consumption nearly 20% in just six years’ time. “It was not that long ago where I went before the American people and told them that we would all need to sacrifice, and the American people, true to spirit, came through. This is an achievement that we can all be proud of, but there is more work to be done.”

The Republican response was delivered by Senator Donald Rumsfeld, who shocked pundits and talking heads by weeping openly before the cameras as he delivered a rambling speech. “Mr. Gore’s pacifism has taken on new energy,” said Rumsfeld, brushing back tears. “It’s a pacifism that only true pacifists can embrace, if they can embrace at all. And it’s this embracing that punishes the country the most, because it emboldens those who will not embrace this country’s principles of freedom and peace.”

Rumsfeld scoffed at the notion of an approaching golden age for the nation, saying instead, “America lost a golden opportunity to shape the Middle East in a way that all supporters of democratic ideals can appreciate. We’ve lost the hearts and minds of the Middle East, which has been left, sadly, to its own devices, its own bizarre forms of democracy, where the electorate pins its hopes on some indigenous concept of self-governance that is an affront to all that we should stand for.”

Rumsfeld went on to admonish Democrats and progressive Republicans for “misleading the American people by telling them that the so-called economic boom taking place in the Middle East is a positive thing for Americans when it is not. There are good, fine American companies who can be laying down the concrete and building the infrastructure and the other seeds of this growth, but instead the money all falls into the hands of the very people we are trying to help.”

Inconsolable, Rumsfeld was then led away from the cameras.



1. Daniel - January 24, 2007

Nirvana. Nice message, thank you. Impeach the imposter. bush is not my president. Indictments to follow? Please.

2. mark day - January 24, 2007

Would President Gore have namechecked Samuel L Jackson? That’s one way to unite a nation…


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