You think Obama is cool for being the first African American presidential nominee representing a major American party? He ain’t got nothing on John McCain, who, if elected, would be the first zombie to be elected President of the United States.

There is growing evidence that McCain, who claims to be 71 years old, actually is deceased, and was brought back to life by genetic researchers based in South San Francisco. This is no internet rumor, the evidence is right here:

It also helps explain McCain’s perplexing inability to remember the facts from one day to the next, a trait that seems to go far beyond what Altzheimer’s can do.